Had a good convo with a new bud Derek (very cool instagram)- Discussion: how the monetary cost or physical beauty of a blank material can make ones mind compare your artistic worth to the potential worth of that material – causing stagnation and artistic anxiety. That unspoken pressure of a new notebook or journal to just look like art itself…The infinite scroll is the most humble material with the most humble of pens -in my case successfully combatting my natural inclinations as a miser to not fuck up nice white watercolor paper.
While I am happily just adding to the scroll and learning supercollider slowly, Derek pushed me to add to the stack – attempts should be made to level up to the next thing and see if that more luxurious item feels the same or if the pressure is still too great – ideally they feel no different. In a perfect practice he postulated, there are many cyclical engines of work happening, a daily prac, a project or two that are being explored, and conversations, readings, musings to keep the “heart sponge full”. This came at a good time for me, since I think it is time to start layering on the next thing as it concerns to drawing.
In the medium of the scroll, any anxiety about the good or bad of the drawings washes out the more that is added. sessions can be bad or good but in aggregate, the volume alone is impressive and satisfying. Which loosely gets me to another thought i was having about meaning. (mean)-ing -> [mean=avg]-> meaning=averaging. I.e., The sheer volume creates the meaning I am looking for in my practice. On average it feels true to what I am trying to do. Sure the main thrust is to just draw for 30 min. But thankfully it averages to being what I like to see.
This also ties back to a previous post I made about this art teacher complaining that students spend too much time making singular art pieces and wrap up too much expectation in a single effort. if anything i need to apply the scroll mentality to my next level of art exploration: namely there will be many iterations so just get moving, in aggregate they will average to the right thing and reveal their meaning. that gets me thinking….
